Part
3 of My Type of Parenting is related to sleep.
This one is pretty controversial.
First,
I do not believe in CIO, or crying it out.
At least, not yet. There is a lot
of information out there showing that an infant younger than 6 months cannot
manipulate. When they cry, it is because
they have a need that needs to be met.
And yes, cuddles and skin to skin is a need.
·
Some research shows that CIO can lead to the
baby having emotional attachment problems that can follow them for life.
·
Neurons actually die.
·
The child can develop mistrust.
The
popular book “Becoming Baby Wise” is a book about getting your child to fall
asleep on his or her own. They try to
teach you about putting your child on a schedule for eating and sleeping. This may sound nice, but in reality Baby Wise
has caused infants to develop Failure to Thrive. And the authors have many lawsuits against
them because of it.
This
is where Tanner’s pediatrician and I disagree and many others as well. (This is related to the 4-month wakeful many
babies go through where they don’t sleep and eat all the time). She says Tanner
eats often during the day, he should be able to go X hours a night without
having to eat. No. During this time in Tanner’s development he
is learning and growing. He looks at things
and studies them. When he eats he often
gets distracted, so he eats more often.
So when it’s nighttime and he is in a nice, quiet room he will realize
he played so much during the day that now he is hungry. If I followed Baby Wise because I am selfish
and lazy and I just want to make my baby fall asleep so I can sleep, he wouldn’t
be able to eat when he was hungry. His
pediatrician said he should be able to go over night without eating. When
Tanner wakes up in the middle of the night, he is hungry. I feed him and he immediately goes back to
sleep. I signed up for this mothering
business. I will wake up and take care
of my baby in the middle of the night anytime he needs it. Even if it is 4, 5, 6 times a night.
**Disclaimer: I know some babies and
some circumstances call for CIO. I
understand some babies are very high needs and for the sanity of the parents
they have to walk away and leave the crying baby alone for a little while. This is not my circumstance. **
Now,
for controversial part 2 of this post.
We co-sleep. Now before anyone
freaks out there is a difference.
Co-sleeping is when the baby is in a bassinet, crib, co-sleeper, or pack
n play in the same room as the parents.
Bed-sharing is just that, sharing the bed with the baby. (And there is a safe way to bed share. We
just don’t do it full time. I often nap
with Tanner in my bed, but I am doing it safely).
I
knew I wanted to co-sleep from the very beginning. Obviously it makes middle of the night
feedings easier on all of us. I can hear
Tanner stir and can get to him before he gets too woken up from crying. And keeping him in the dark helps him fall back
to sleep right away. But it also can
help prevent SIDS. Mothers have that
special instinct with their children.
Some moms can tell when their child has shallow breathing. I can sleep through Nick’s alarm and when he
gets up and ready for work, but I will wake up to Tanner playing with his
feet. It’s amazing.
We
don’t have a crib for Tanner here in San Antonio, he is still using his pack n
play. He will be 7 months old when we
get back to Oklahoma. But I don’t think
I will transition him to the crib at night for a few more months after
that. I had considered it, but I keep
hearing stories about babies several months older than Tanner now dying from
SIDS. I will take it one night at a time
though, probably. If he seems ready for
it when we get back to Oklahoma, then so be it.
I do have to admit I love having him in our room. I can wake up in the middle of the night and
see him sleeping soundly, and I feel better.
