Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Long time no post

So it's been a while since I've updated.  Lots of things have happened.  I'll do a quick update on some of those things and I will try to update a little more since I'm starting to get use to having a little one on my own without family here to help.

First, Tanner has yet to get back to his birth weight and he will be 3 weeks old tomorrow.  He was 7lbs 9.8oz at birth and at his 1 week appointment he was down to 6lb 13oz.  we went back 5 days later and he was up to 7lb 4oz.  So we set an appointment to go back today and he is only 7lb 8oz.  I could have sworn he was gaining.  He has filled out and he seems heavier.  He's eating every 2-3 hours during the day and every 3-4 hours at night.  He eats for 30+ minutes a session and has ton of wet and dirty diapers.

Nick seems to think they didn't weigh him right at the hospital because they said his length at birth was 20.5 inches but being measured twice at the clinic he measured shorter than that.  I don't know if that is the case, but I still figured he would be gaining more.  It is really frustrating because I am trying my hardest to feed him and everything seems just fine.  He doesn't complain like he's hungry or anything.  I've been told to start pumping and giving him a bottle after he nurses to see how much more he eats.  I'm not looking forward to being hooked up to the pump in between feedings.....

Also, a week after we got home from the hospital my incision opened up.  It started draining a ton of fluid.  For the first 2 days it was coming out like a little faucet.  And each day the hole got bigger and deeper.  It's been a week and a half and the drainage is slowing down.  I've been to the doctor 3 times to check it.  My doctor is not concerned.  I started antibiotics just in case, but he said it wasn't infected (I beg to differ).  I go back again on the 9th of January, which is also my 4 week postpartum visit.  I can't wait until this heals.  If it wasn't for the big hole in my abdomen I would be feeling great!  The rest of my incision is healing beautifully.  My doctor says some people just develop these seromas after surgery.

But some good news, I've lost almost 30lbs in 3 weeks.  I have ankles again and I can wear my wedding band!  I'm starting to recognize myself in the mirror again and I love it!

Tanner is starting to wake up so I am going to end this for now.  I still have some other things I want to blog about and I will try to get that done sometime this week.  Now here are some pictures of my little man!  These were taken back to back, Tanner makes lots of cute faces.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Tanner's Birth Story

WARNING:  This is going to be extremely long.  I wanted to document as much as I could so I could always remember.  I'll try to make a bunch of paragraphs and add pictures in to make it not so hard to read.  

Tanner's birth story and hospital stay.

We woke up on December 6th to our first snow.  I was hoping it was a sign of good things to come.  I woke up at 3:30am and was looking for any good sign.  I had a gut feeling that this induction wasn't going to go well.  On the drive to the hospital Nick asked me what I wanted to listen to on the radio.  He knew I was really nervous.  Somehow Christmas music wasn't feeling right so I said I wanted to listen to some rock music.  I should have taken the names of the two songs we listened to on the drive there as another sign of a bad sign.  Flyleaf's "I'm so sick", and Sixx AM's "This is gonna hurt".  Sigh.

We got to the hospital at 7:30am and I was hooked up to the monitors, lab work done, consent signed, and IV started all by 8am.  My doctor came in and checked me.  Still not dilated at all.  We discussed Cytotec vs Cervadil and thankfully my doctor agrees with me about not wanting to use Cytotec.  So Cervadil was started at 9am.  I had to be on bedrest for 2 hours and when that time was up I was able to be taken off the monitors and free to walk the halls.  For a while at lunch time my cramping was getting pretty bad.  I was getting my hopes up for going into labor without having to have Pitocin.  But no such luck.

I was hooked back up to the monitor at 7:30pm.  I was having contractions all along, 1.5-2 minutes each, 6.5 minutes apart.  But I wasn't having any bad pain.  My doctor came in at 9pm and I was still not dilated, but effaced just a little. So Pitocin was started at 10pm.

12 hours later when my doctor came back to check me again I was only 60-70% effaced.  He told me he would come back in at lunchtime to break my water. From everything I've ever read I thought doctors waited until you were 4 or 5 cm before they broke your water.  Well when my doctor came back in at 1:15, I was a fingertip dilated and he was still going to try.  My doctor uses the internal fetal monitor to break his patient's water.  Apparently it's a smaller hook and he can go ahead and attach it to the baby to monitor him better.  After two attempts he ended up having to use a hook and he broke my water.  It was the weirdest feeling ever. 

I started feeling pain with the contractions almost immediately, and when the nurse offered to bring in a birthing ball to sit on I gladly accepted.  I don't know how anyone can labor laying down in a bed!  That ball was so much more comfortable. I sat on it for hours. Nick sat behind me and put counter pressure on my lower back when I had contractions. I had pretty bad back labor.

Around 3pm I was 1-2cm dilated.  I was starting to get uncomfortable and nauseous so I asked for the Nubain and some Zofran.  I am so glad I asked the nurse the day before to get the order for Zofran!  The Nubain acted really fast and I felt drunk.  It helped me get a little farther though my labor but at that point I knew I would be asking for an epidural.

The pain got real intense around 4pm.  And It was such a blur from then on.  My contractions were all over the place.  12 minutes apart, 4 minutes apart, 8, 7...I was checked and was 80% effaced and 2-3 cm.  After that my contractions went to 2-3 minutes apart.  I don't really remember asking for the epidural but when the anesthesiologist showed up at 5pm I was so happy!  It was in at 5:20pm and I was able to take a 2 hour nap.  Which was so nice.  When I woke up my Pitocin was at the highest dose (they had been titrating the infusion rate all day).  

At about 9 or 10pm my Pitocin was turned off.  My contractions were on top of each other and not really helping me progress.  They didn't want to stress my uterus out more than it already was.  I was then told I could go in for a C-section at 8am the next morning or wait it out until 1pm (24 hours after my water broke) to have the C-section.  There was a slight chance Tanner could come during the night.  So since my Pitocin was turned off, my epidural was turned down as well.  

 At 12:30am my epidural was turned back up because I was feeling my contractions, even without the Pitocin. I was 4-4.5cm dilated and more effaced.  I was having bad cramping and would not stop shaking.  I realized my body deals with pain by shaking.  It was bad.  I wanted to go ahead and plan for the 8am C-section at this time.  I was so exhausted.  And after some tears they stopped my Pitocin.  I never really slept the rest of the night.

At 4:30am the nurse came in to check my vitals.  I started to have a temperature, 99.4.  It was still low, but they were watching it and went ahead and gave me IV antibiotics and increased my fluids, which actually hurt more than some of my contractions.   I was still only 4-4.5cm dilated.

Thirty minutes later my temperature was 100.3.  And since it was still rising the 1pm C-section was out of the question.  I would be having a C-section at 8am that morning.  I had to have my epidural increased even more because I was having extreme pain.  And even after it was increased the pain didn't go away.

An hour later my temperature was 104.1.  My antibiotics were still running.  I was so thirsty, all I wanted was ice.  But I was also very, very nauseous.  I was given some more Zofran, but it did nothing.  I began vomiting, and I still had the intense pain.  I was completely miserable.  My epidural didn't feel like it was working at all.

From 7 to 7:45am I was prepped for the C-section.  I could barely keep my eyes open.  Things were beginning to get really foggy.

I was taken back to the OR at 7:45am.  Shaking uncontrollably.  It seemed like the prep for the c-section was taking forever.  It was very hazy to me.  Nick was called back at 8:00am.  I don't remember much.  I remember his hand on mine and the anestheologist talking about taking pictures.  My Dr was talking about random things.  I also remember feeling everything with the surgery, just with no pain.  At some times there may have been some very uncomfortable feelings but not quite pain. 

After 47 hours of labor Tanner was born at 8:06am on December 8th.  I saw his face through the little window in the blue drape.  I heard his cry and told Nick that I was pretty sure he could go see him.  He did.  I don’t remember much more after that.  Nick showed me pictures of me posing with him, and one of Tanner and me, but I don’t remember taking them.  I also think Nick kissed me before he left but I’m not sure at all.  I suppose that’s because my temp was 105 something at that point.  I was taken back to recovery but the only thing I can remember from that is not being able to breathe comfortably.  I felt like my tongue was blocking my airway and someone was sitting on my chest.  Not to mention the extremely dry mouth.  All I wanted was my baby and ice.  Oh how I wanted ice. 

I remember trying to keep my eyes open and focus on what the nurses were talking about.  It seemed like an eternity.  But really it was only about 30 minutes.  And the weirdest thing happened.  It seemed like in an instant my fever broke and I was awake.  It literally was within a minute or two.  Recovery was going well and I was wheeled out to the nursery window at about 45 minutes after the C-section.  I immediately fell in love with the sight of Nick with Tanner.  I remember thinking how handsome Tanner was.  He had a bad cone head because he was stuck in my pelvis, but it was adorable. 

I was so upset to find out that Tanner had a temp when he was born too, 104.7, I believe.  I was so worried about having to wait the normal 45 minutes after a normal C-section to start breastfeeding, and here I was told I would have to wait 6 HOURS before I could see my baby.  He had to have IV fluids and antibiotics in the nursery to keep away any infection that may happen.  There was meconium in the fluid during the C-section, but none when my Dr. broke my water the day before.  

Nick and my mom took pictures and video of Tanner in the Nursery so I could see my baby.  After lunch Nick told me he was going to go check on Tanner and when he left our room I started crying.  I was sad I couldn't go too.  But a couple of minutes later Nick came back into the room with the biggest smile!  Apparently Tanner's IV wasn't working and they had to call another nurse to come in to get a new one started so he wasn't chained to an IV and monitor.  Behind Nick was a nursing student pushing the bassinet with my baby in it!  I had maybe 10-15 minutes with him in my room.  I wasn't going to be able to see him until 4pm so I was just ecstatic!  I cried.

Now, since this has gotten so long I will go ahead and just sum up the rest of our stay.  The pediatrician said Tanner could stay in the hospital for up to 5 days, depending on the tests that were sent out.  And he had to stay in the nursery while he was on antibiotics.  So I would go into the nursery every 3 hours around the clock to try to nurse and love on my little guy.  It was draining, and I hurt pretty bad from the surgery.  I just hated leaving him each time.  

I was discharged on Saturday but since Tanner was still admitted I was able to keep my room.  During our morning visit to the nursery Tanner's IV started messing up.  The pediatrician said his cultures came back fine and he had 48 of the 72 hours of antibiotics he needed and he believed he was okay.  They unhooked him and we were able to bring him to our room for good.  I was like Christmas!  I can't imagine the moms who have their babies in the NICU for months.  My heart breaks for them!

On Sunday the pediatrician said everything looked good and Tanner would be able to come home with us!  The only problem we had was since it took is so long to try nursing Tanner had trouble learning how to suck and latch.  We are still working on it and slowly making progress.

I am so happy!

(I do have to say my heart explodes every time I see Nick with his son.  I don't know what it is.  I love them so much I could burst!)

Monday, December 12, 2011

He's Here!

I haven't disappeared!  It's been a hectic week though.  Tanner is napping right now but stirring around a little, so I'm going to make this short.

I will post a long, detailed birth story once I get all my notes put together...and have the time.  I was induced on Tuesday morning (6 Dec.) but due to cephalopelvic disproportion, and a nasty temperature/infection, Tanner was born via c-section on Thursday the 8th of December.

He was 7lbs 9.8oz, 20.5in long.  After being in labor for 48 hours and a c-section I hoped things would get better, but he was sick.  He stayed in the nursery on IV antibiotics for 48 hours and 24 hours after that we were able to bring him home.

I am so in love with him!

Longer story will come shortly, promise!

Here is a picture of him sleeping right now, next to me.

Monday, December 5, 2011


Tomorrow is the day.  0730.  I'm really hoping I can get a good night's sleep, but I doubt it.  I am already too anxious/nervous/excited...

I am STILL having contractions, but they are still not painful.  They are changing though.  They don't feel quite the same as they did a few days ago.  I have 14.5 hours left to go into labor on my own. I bet if I had a few more days I would go into labor on my own.  But I'm fine with the induction tomorrow.  It's not ideal, but it is what it is.  And once Tanner gets here, none of this will matter.  And that makes me happy!

I do wish I was home though.  I'm very thankful to have my mom here, but I wish my dad was here too.  And my mother-in-law! It's her first grandbaby!  I can't wait to get home this spring to show him off!

Nick is still flying, and won't be home until 10 tonight. I guess it's good that Tanner is waiting for him.

Anyway, I am going to try to take notes during labor so I can write a birth story to share here.  I love reading other women's stories and I still can't believe that I will be having one soon!

Wish me luck!

Foil Fail

Remember this post? Yeah, it doesn't work.

Day 1

Day 2

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Trying not to lose hope

I will be induced Tuesday morning. I'm trying so hard to not lose hope that I might go into labor on my own before then. But I'm running out of time. I'm still having timetable, non painful contractions but nothing else.

I'll keep hoping and praying, but I'm guessing Tuesday will be the day.


Friday, December 2, 2011


I literally do not recognize myself in the mirror.  It's a lot more depressing than I thought it would be.  I'm so happy to be 9 months pregnant with my little boy, and I can not wait to meet him.  But the way my body has changed has really hit me hard.  My face doesn't look anything like it use to.  Why doesn't anyone understand the way I feel about this?  Apparently I'm supposed to enjoy this.  How can I enjoy seeing pictures of myself this way.  How can I enjoy the feeling I get?  It's terrible.  It makes me want to cry every.single.time.

Blame it on hormones?  I don't think this is one of those cases.

I feel guilty that I'm almost as excited to see my baby boy as I am to start loosing weight.  But it's true.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

40 Week Doctor/L & D Visit

Today I had my 40 week doctor appointment scheduled.  I was feeling very worried/nervous before, mostly because I was afraid of no progress.  I also knew we would start talking about inductions today.  Well, the doctor came in and sure enough, no progress.  He tried to open my cervix and boy that did not feel pleasant.  He started talking about how I can't go into labor this weekend because he will be at the Saints/Lions football game.

We discussed Cytotec/Cervadil  again.  I told him I did a little more research on it and I felt better knowing he only uses the smallest does.  Sometimes Cytotec will bring on contractions and Pitocin may not be needed.  He also said it works faster.  But he said he would let me choose.  He mentioned if I'm dilating by Tuesday (my induction date) we won't even need to worry about it and just go straight to Pitocin.  So, I have an induction scheduled for 7:30 Tuesday morning, the 6th of December.

Now, about my trip to L & D.  My doctor said I could go have blood drawn to make sure I'm not on the verge of toxemia (my BP today was 138/78-much, much higher than my normal).  So I agreed.  I figured I would just go over and they would take my blood and that would be it.  But that wasn't the case, and I'm thankful.

I got there and had to pee in a cup.  Then I realized they would actually be monitoring me while I waited for the lab to come draw my blood and receive the results.  This was pretty big for me.  I've never been to the hospital as a patient.  I've never had to be on the other side of being a nurse.  It was so strange.

They hooked me up to the fetal heart rate monitor and contraction monitor and put the blood pressure cuff on every 15 minutes.  (The nurse said I had a stretch mark that looks like a heart...that was pretty  She asked me if I have had any contractions while she was hooking me up and I said no.  Once she was done she left the room.  And almost immediately a little hill appeared on the contraction monitor.

The contraction felt like I was tightening my abs mixed with Tanner moving.  I've been having contractions and not realizing what they actually were.  (They may have been happening because my doctor tried to open my cervix). Eight minutes later another hill appeared.  And eight minutes after that...Nick figured out they were every eight minutes lasting about a minute and a half.  In a way I was so happy.  I know these will probably taper off, but knowing my body is actually doing something is so nice!  It was neat because Nick could tell a contraction was about to start because Tanner's heart rate would pick up and then the little hill would start to appear on the monitor.  I wouldn't even feel anything yet.

The nurse came back into the room and gave me the little button to do kick counts.  Tanner was very active today, so I was constantly pushing the button.  He even kicked the heart rate monitor and made this LOUD noise.  My mom, Nick, and I couldn't stop laughing.

The guy from the lab showed up and drew my blood.  He went ahead and drew extra, in case I went into labor within the next 3 days.  I felt really weird because he put the blood band on.  I know what this is from working at this hospital.  Its for blood transfusions.  That did freak me out a little bit.

It took maybe 20 minutes for the results to come back.  Just enough time to listen to Tanner's heart rate a little more and answer all the admission questions.  The results from the blood work were great! I am so relieved!  I feel much better about waiting until Tuesday to be induced.

I'm still having contractions.  I haven't really relaxed enough since we've been home to time them.  We're going to dinner soon so maybe during that I'll time them.  I would love to go into labor on my own and not have to deal with the induction, but it is what it is, and I'm happy knowing I will have a baby by next week.  Fingers crossed that these contractions pick up though!!!

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Christmas Decorations/Photo Dump

I'm pretty lucky.  My mom is here in Oklahoma and she has very good vision when it come to decorating!  Also, Nick really got into decorating this year.  I let him take over the front yard, and I have to say he did a great job!  Living on base, we don't get to do too much to the house, so decorating for the Holidays is a nice way to allow our house to stand out.

Here is the outside.

(The blue is meant to look like a Taxiway for planes...Nick's idea)

This is a look at the inside from outside.

I love our tree!

We have garland around the whole living room.

And here are a few random things inside.

(Tanner has a stocking waiting for him!)

(A view from the kitchen)

Merry Christmas!