Thursday, January 30, 2014

40 Weeks

So, I'm 40 weeks and 2 days today.  I have 5 days until the dreaded C-section.  

I'm still fairly optimistic, though.  And most of that is because of my doctor's reaction yesterday at my appointment.  Typically my doctor is very blunt, and straight to the point.  At my 37, 38, and 39 week appointments he was very negative and saying all these things about how he doubts I will go into labor on my own and have a successful VBAC.  But yesterday was like I had a completely different doctor.  

He began telling me a story as he was walking into the room.  He recently had a patient who was wanting to try for a VBAC.  He said he would have bet a million dollars that she wouldn't have gone into labor.  Her c-section was scheduled for 7am.  She showed up at the hospital at 3am, in labor.  He even continued to say when she was 4-5cm dilated, the baby's head was molding (? or something like that) and how he still thought he was going to be doing a c-section on her.  But, she pulled through and had her VBAC!  This must have blown him away because he was seriously a different guy yesterday.  

He checked me and I was only a "stretchy 1cm", I figured I would get all the negative feedback like usual, but that wasn't the case at all.  He was strangely optimistic.  He kept saying how he may very well see me before Tuesday.  So, I'm hopeful!  It really sucked when I was leaving the appointment and was told all my info about coming in at 5am on Tuesday to begin the c-section prep.  Ugh.  But I still have 5 days.  Lots can change!

I was having time-able non-painful contractions all Saturday night, and all of Sunday.  They then became sporadic,  but still often during the next 3 days.  But every time I would lay down I wouldn't get them.  Last night was different, though.  I had them all night long.  Still not painful, though. I know at least one or two were real.  They woke me up and they felt completely different.  And of course I would stay awake for 30+ minutes afterwards, wondering if it would happen again.  They never did.  But I still had the regular non painful contractions continue.  I'm still getting them, even now as I'm typing this.  I'm praying this leads to something!

I've been praying so much and trying to be as positive as I can be.  It's hard, though.  I've even started repeating "My body is not broken.  I will go into labor.  I will have my VBAC" in my head over and over when I'm feeling particularly negative.  And last night I spent 45 minutes imagining the perfect (for me) birth.  It was really incredible to do that.  I'm sure I'm setting myself up for heartache by doing that, but it was nice to experience that, even if it was not real.  

Today has actually been the day I have been hoping Wesley would come.  Thursday, January 30th.  If he is born today, he would share something from all of our birthdays.  January is Nick's birthday month.  30 is the day I was born, and Tanner was born on a Thursday.  It's 8:15am...I still have some time, right? :)

Okay Wesley, I'm ready for you!

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