6 Weeks Old

I've been wanting to post a new blog for a couple of days with some videos of Tanner, but I was having trouble figuring out our new video camera and wanted to wait for the weekend so Nick could fix it.  It's still giving us trouble so I will make a new post with some videos once we get that figured out.


Tanner turned 6 weeks old last Thursday.  It's so hard to believe he has been hanging around for that long already!  He's doing so great.  Remember when I posted about his weight gain problems? Well, I'm glad to say I never had to give him formula.  I started weaning off from the nipple shield and he seemed to be able to get more milk that way.  One night a few weeks ago, I nursed him and gave him 1oz of breastmilk in a bottle (like the pediatrician told us to).  Not 10 minutes later he projectile vomited all over his dresser, floor, and daddy.  From that moment, I knew it was the shield.  That was his last bottle.  I brought him to the clinic last Wednesday and he had gained almost a pound in 2 weeks.  I was so proud of him!

I just love this face!

"I want my paci back, Mom!"

Tanner is really starting to grow and develop.  He just loves to look around at different things on the wall.  Usually when I wear him in a baby carrier around the house and the commissary he promptly falls asleep.  But today during our weekly grocery visit he was wide awake and looking all around!  That is, until 10 minutes in when his head started bobbing and his eyes were struggling to stay open.  He passed out shortly after that and stayed asleep 2 hours, including throughout our walk around the neighborhood.

He really loves his activity mat, as long as he is laying on his back.  He does not like tummy time  We're still working on that though.  He has found his tongue, and likes to stick it out a lot.  He also makes the cutest noises when he plays.  And his favorite thing to do right now is stare at himself in the mirror on his activity mat.  

"My favorite mirror!"

Look at that fuzzy hair!

"I HATE tummy time!"

Octopus!

Nursing troubles

This isn't the post I wanted to finish writing last week.  That one will be pretty long and I just haven't gotten to writing it yet.  Tanner fell asleep in his car seat at the Pedi's office so I brought him in and let him continue sleeping for a little while.  That's why I'm writing this post now.


Tanner is almost 4 weeks old and he has just now gotten back to his birth weight.  He is not dehydrated.  He has 10-12 wet and dirty diapers a day.  He has grown a little taller and his head has grown 1 cm.  But for some reason he will just not gain weight.  He was 1 oz away from his birth weight last week.  The Pedi wanted me to pump and give him a bottle to see how much he would eat after he nursed.  We've been doing that a couple times a day.  He will take anywhere from 2-4oz after an hour long nursing session.


The Pedi is worried because she said she wouldn't think he would take more than 4oz total per feeding at this point in time, so if he is nursing for an hour and then taking 3oz after obviously he's not getting enough from me.  The problem isn't me, as I'm producing plenty of milk.  But for some reason he isn't able to get the milk from me.

I'm going to try to pump way more and give him a bottle after every nursing session.  I hope this works because I do not want to give him formula if I can  help it.  It just sucks because I will be hooked up to something all day long, either Tanner nursing, or pumping.  And when I'm done with that it will be time to do it all over again.  I sure hope we can figure this out!

Long time no post

So it's been a while since I've updated.  Lots of things have happened.  I'll do a quick update on some of those things and I will try to update a little more since I'm starting to get use to having a little one on my own without family here to help.


First, Tanner has yet to get back to his birth weight and he will be 3 weeks old tomorrow.  He was 7lbs 9.8oz at birth and at his 1 week appointment he was down to 6lb 13oz.  we went back 5 days later and he was up to 7lb 4oz.  So we set an appointment to go back today and he is only 7lb 8oz.  I could have sworn he was gaining.  He has filled out and he seems heavier.  He's eating every 2-3 hours during the day and every 3-4 hours at night.  He eats for 30+ minutes a session and has ton of wet and dirty diapers.


Nick seems to think they didn't weigh him right at the hospital because they said his length at birth was 20.5 inches but being measured twice at the clinic he measured shorter than that.  I don't know if that is the case, but I still figured he would be gaining more.  It is really frustrating because I am trying my hardest to feed him and everything seems just fine.  He doesn't complain like he's hungry or anything.  I've been told to start pumping and giving him a bottle after he nurses to see how much more he eats.  I'm not looking forward to being hooked up to the pump in between feedings.....


Also, a week after we got home from the hospital my incision opened up.  It started draining a ton of fluid.  For the first 2 days it was coming out like a little faucet.  And each day the hole got bigger and deeper.  It's been a week and a half and the drainage is slowing down.  I've been to the doctor 3 times to check it.  My doctor is not concerned.  I started antibiotics just in case, but he said it wasn't infected (I beg to differ).  I go back again on the 9th of January, which is also my 4 week postpartum visit.  I can't wait until this heals.  If it wasn't for the big hole in my abdomen I would be feeling great!  The rest of my incision is healing beautifully.  My doctor says some people just develop these seromas after surgery.


But some good news, I've lost almost 30lbs in 3 weeks.  I have ankles again and I can wear my wedding band!  I'm starting to recognize myself in the mirror again and I love it!


Tanner is starting to wake up so I am going to end this for now.  I still have some other things I want to blog about and I will try to get that done sometime this week.  Now here are some pictures of my little man!  These were taken back to back, Tanner makes lots of cute faces.

Struggling

I literally do not recognize myself in the mirror.  It's a lot more depressing than I thought it would be.  I'm so happy to be 9 months pregnant with my little boy, and I can not wait to meet him.  But the way my body has changed has really hit me hard.  My face doesn't look anything like it use to.  Why doesn't anyone understand the way I feel about this?  Apparently I'm supposed to enjoy this.  How can I enjoy seeing pictures of myself this way.  How can I enjoy the feeling I get?  It's terrible.  It makes me want to cry every.single.time.


Blame it on hormones?  I don't think this is one of those cases.


I feel guilty that I'm almost as excited to see my baby boy as I am to start loosing weight.  But it's true.

38 Weeks!

Only 2 weeks until D-day!  It's so close, but still enough days to be so far away!  I'm so ready.


I hate to be that pregnant chick who complains about being pregnant.  Honestly though, I've enjoyed it. It was really, really hard while I was working (and to be honest I bet I would have gone into pre-term labor if I had continued to work).  But I am ready.


It's getting hard.  I can hardly walk.  I can barely put on my pants, let alone my shoes and socks.  I have to have help to get off the couch. And the swelling...oh my gosh the swelling!  When I look back at pictures of me and my belly at the beginning of the pregnancy, I get really depressed.  I was so self conscious of the way I looked before I got pregnant, and now I look back and want to kick myself.  I had blinders on.  Sure, I could have lost 10-15 pounds but I looked okay.  Now, I see pictures of myself, and I see the scale go up every week and I can not wait to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight!  I know it's all worth it, but it's still hard to see these changes in myself.


Now, back to baby.  He continues to drop.  He's very low, to the point where I don't think he will go any lower until I'm in labor.  I'm waddling like mad.  I've also been able to pop my back for the first time since probably the beginning of the summer!  It was only twice, but it felt amazing!  I also haven't been having the terrible indigestion that I had been having.


Sleep has been so-so.  When I can fall asleep, I sleep well.  But lately my mind is just going crazy with thoughts.  Thoughts about going into labor, my water breaking, being in labor at the hospital and Nick is out flying and I can't get in touch with him.  I know these thoughts are all normal, but they come flooding in when I try to sleep.  I don't mind the thoughts of holding my little boy though.  I imagine his little newborn cry, rocking him in the glider, and seeing him sleep on Nick's chest.


I know it's going to be very difficult having a newborn.  I bet I will be overwhelmed many, many times.  But I have such a supportive family and great friends who will be there for us.  My mom is coming out on Sunday!  And my mother-in-law will be here shortly after Tanner is born.  I can't wait, I know they can't wait.  But we have to...Tanner will most likely take his time.

Here is the 38 week bump picture.  It would be AWESOME if this were the past belly pic before Tanner came!

And here is the comparison that makes me depressed.

And here is a super random picture of what the cats and I have been watching all morning.  It's only noon and I've filled that bird bath 3 times already and it needs to be filled again.  I suppose the birds are gearing up for winter! (It is the first real chilly day so far...43 degrees.  The windows were open yesterday).